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Transform Yourself Into a Half-Man, Half-Beast!

Dressing up as mythological monsters is a fake trend whose time hasn’t come. But let’s meet some people who do it anyway!

No Bull. You Can Be a Minotaur!

Photo: Maydwell Photography / digilegs.com

Every mythological outlier needs a mechanical outfitter. Enter sculptor Kim Graham. The New Zealand resident—and an FX specialist who worked on the Hobbit trilogy—co-invented a pair of inverted limb extensions that transform your gams into a bovine's hind quarters. The Digilegs, as they're known, have been further developed (and are now owned) by UK outpost Area 51. For a cool grand, wannabe man-beasts can stride six feet a step with a gait that Beaton describes as “creepy and inhuman.” The dexterity required just to move  the damn things raises the question: Is this another exercise trend waiting to happen? “It’s certainly a workout,” admits Beaton, “and the attention you get while wearing them is a rush.” Move over, Shake Weight. There’s a new embarrassing way to tone your muscles!

Getting Tail

Photo: Chris Crumley
 
Eric Ducharme’s silicone-and-latex merman suits are the stuff dreams are made of. Literally. The Florida native has been fantasizing about swimming sans legs ever since he performed at the Weeki Wachee Springs Little Mermaid Show at the tender age of 16. Six years later the entrepreneur runs Mertailor, which outfits ichthyologist enthusiasts the country over, including men, women, and children. “I can’t tell you how many letters I get from parents whose sons want to be mermen,” he says. He sells 30 to 50 tails a month, which range between $200 and $5,000 and can take up to 10 weeks to make. “There’s a lot of love and care that goes into these things,” explains Ducharme. “A lot of people will just try to sew two pieces of fabric together and throw some rubber around it, and they just fall apart.” When he’s not making tails, he’s getting paid to wear them at events. And at least three times a week, Ducharme takes his fins for a spin in the area’s various waterways. To answer your question: No. No, it doesn’t get more enchanting than that. 

He So Horny

Photo: Alex Kovas / HumAnimals.co.uk
 
Through his London-based company, Humanimal, Russian-born performance artist Alex Kovas por­trays all manner of body-painted mythical creatures, including the most mystical hooved creature, the unicorn. (Don’t tell Pegasus we said that.) And as with all great art, transforming himself into a one-horned horse doesn’t come without a certain degree of suffering. “The unicorn is awkward for me to perform, mostly because of the balance and pain issue caused by the hooves I wear,” says Kovas, 36. “But I try to maintain some sort of dignity, which unicorns tend to do in real life.” And while not a furry himself, Kovas concedes that he does have a bit of a following within the community. “Evidently, my humanimals are based on an almost naked human body, so most people are bound to get sexual associations with my portrayals,” he admits. “Furries find my humanimals very appealing, but probably in a slightly more twisted way.” One can only hope, tiny prancer. One can only hope.
 
Shebiscuit

Photo: Laecee Roth
 
In 2009 a former Alex Rodriguez flame told US Weekly, “He was so vain. He had not one but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half-man, half-horse figure? It was ridiculous.” You know what, unnamed source? You’re ridiculous. Who wouldn’t want to be half steroids and half Secretariat? Laecee Roth agrees, and with the aid of a little chicken wire, a whole lotta fur, and toy wagon wheels, she set about turning herself into one. The 29-year-old performance artist (we’re sensing a theme) was inspired to create a four-legged female frock after spotting the dude equivalent at Burning Man. The downside? Unwanted advances from similarly attired males. “They were particularly interested in the size of the horse’s rear,” admits Roth. The contraption even has a shelf for snacks near that very same butt. “It’s great for water and, of course, tequila,” says Roth. “And it creates funny moments when I ask, ‘Could you please open the compartment in my thigh?’” Ha-ha-ha-ha… OK, we’re oddly turned on right now.
 
Elfrotica
Melynda Moon has a thing for elves. So much so that the 23-year-old alternative model downloads countless videos on how to best look like the fanciful creatures of fairy tale lore. She even sought out a local body-modification artist to make her ears permanently point north. The Guelph, Ontario, native (yes, she’s the elf from Guelph) is not lacking in troll tormentors. “I’ve had some rude Internet comments come to me from people who think they have the right to tell me I’m gross-looking,” laments Moon. But for every sinister nay­sayer, there’s a sexy niche that needs filling. “I can’t say I’ve done that kind of role-playing, but being aesthetically pleasing to nerds is a huge bonus,” says Moon. “Who wouldn’t want a sexy elf? We only look innocent!” As for having such a festively appropriate look this time of the year? “A handful of people like to tell their kids to stop being bad because they know an elf who’ll tell Santa they’re being a brat. Then they see my ears and realize Mom isn’t joking.”

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