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War On Terror's Secret Weapon: Pokemon

When an episode caused kids to have seizures, the government saw an opportunity to make bad guys shit themselves.

 

pokemon; seizure; kids; cartoon

 

If the condom broke and you have young kids—or you yourself were once a young kid—you are probably aware of an anime behemoth called Pokemon. It's, uh... it's prettty popular. To refresh, it's about a kid named Ash who runs around capturing fantastical creatures in balls and then makes them fight each other - fine family entertainment. Well, in 1997, an episode of the show featured an eyeball-busting combination of flashing colors and explosions that caused hundreds of viewers to have seizures, complete with fits of uncontrollable vomiting. See the epilepsy-inducing scene below:

 



Done vomiting? Cool. So moving on, it's recently been revealed that, while the episode was immediately pulled from the air, U.S. Government scientists immediately went to work on what has to have been the most embarrassing idea ever to get taken out on the field of battle: The Pokemon Seizure Gun! The gun would zap bad guys with intense electromagnetic pulses, and said bad guys would fall on the ground, hopefully shitting and puking themselves. Sadly, the gun was never fully developed, so we'll never know if it worked. We do like the idea, however, and suggest that the government consider an even simpler approach to inducing mass-vomitting in enemy ranks: Set up a feed of Snooki's birth along the Pakistani-Afghan border.

 

Want to see what other dumb stuff we've been talking about this week? Go here.

Or, yeah, you could just look at hot women.