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World’s Worst Child

What does a child do when they find their parent's life savings? Something incredibly stupid, naturally.

Photo: Faith Gorgun / iStockPhoto | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

If you stumbled upon your parents’ life savings when you were a kid, what would you do? If you said, “blow it all on candy” you wouldn’t be the first. Though it took a couple weeks of good planning and shopping, a 9-year-old Ukrainian boy spent his parents $4000 life savings on candy. With the apparent help of another adult, the boy exchanged a large sum of the international currency (which was hidden underneath a sofa) into Ukrainian hyrvnas each week in order to buy a bunch of candy, and paid his helper a cut of the money. And before you call this kid greedy, just know that $4000 worth of candy was way too much for him to eat all by himself, so he did share with friends.

While this case clearly takes the cake, or the candy (sorry), this isn’t the first time parents have probably wanted to disown their children, either because of their spawn’s stupidity, or their own, as indicated by the following four cases:

1. In the span of two weeks a 12-year-old from the UK managed to rack up the equivalent of $1,400 on the game Farmville on his mom’s credit card. Sounds terrible until further research reveals that one man was so desperate to buy virtual animals for his virtual farm that he robbed a blind man and then murdered one of his friends who threatened to tell the police. And that’s why we never accept Farmville invites on Facebook.

2. A 6-year-old from the UK racked up a $3,200 bill on his grandfather’s iPad by buying virtual food and coins on a game called Tiny Monster. We can’t decide what’s more impressive: the fact that a 6-year-old or a grandfather knows how to use an iPad.

3. After a Pittsburgh-area couple noticed their neighbor’s dogs had wandered into their yard, they took the logical next step of reporting the dogs to the authorities. Then they took the illogical step of selling one of them - a Rottweiler puppy - on Craigslist. While the parents insisted to the cops over the phone that the puppy had wandered off, when they did actually pay a visit to the house they found their 5-year-old son at home, who told them that Mommy had“given the dog to a woman from the Internet.” Mommy and Daddy were then charged with not making a reasonable effort to return lost property, two counts of conspiracy, and filing false reports.

4. You’d think a fifteen-year-old boy would be amped to have easy and cheap access to pot. Well, not the one that called the police and ratted his parents out for growing pot in their basement.

More funny please.
Who needs funny when you can have girls?

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