The Pitch: A nearly indestructible, made-for-the-military laptop you can have for your own, unknown uses. Need a laptop to work in 140 degree heat, for some weird reason? How about a tablet that can take a punch? I mean a punch by a US Marine, not your limp-wristed girlie slap. Well, here’s some mil-spec kit that makes your MacBook Air look like the spoiled, whiny baby it is.
What it really is: Ridiculously tough. This $3,299 laptop-meets-tank is surprisingly fast and light (about 4lbs), and best of all, it looks sick. Just sitting in Starbucks with this thing makes me feel invincible, as I sip my vanilla soy not-too-hot latte. For once, I’m not constantly concerned about spills! The V100 is nearly waterproof and has a backlit keyboard, which pretty much makes it perfect for the perverts among you. Dual removable batteries and a solid-state hard drive? The fact that it’s a freaking Transformer and becomes a multi-touch tablet at the twist of a screen? I’m already rigid.
Who it's for: Active military on Jason Bourne missions. No, really - check out the stats: It’s MIL-STD 810G, IP65, and MIL-STD-461F certified, which means…something! Probably! It’s built like a battleship, runs 13 hours on a set of batteries, and you can stream “movies” while sitting in the rain!
What’s Extra Cool: If you want something slightly more streamlined, the Getac also comes in Tablet flavor! The Getac F110 Rugged Tablet is like an iPad that went to the gym. For a decade. It’s a Windows 8 Intel i5/7 core tablet that’s built like Captain America’s shield - it does almost everything a Windows Surface device can do, but soaking wet, covered in mud, or baking in the sun. It’s pricey, at $3,299, but the 11-inch LumiBond screen is bright and surprisingly crisp, and won’t break the first time you drop it on the sidewalk (or the fifth time, butterfingers).
What’s Missing: The Transformer sound. I don’t mind making the sound myself for now, but I wish this thing would automatically make this noise. Please get on it, Getac.
Have a question for our resident Fat Geeky Guy? Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave your techy questions in the comments below. Follow him on Twitter (@FatGeekyGuy) and on Facebook. Or you could check out these Geeky Girls, or Maxim's December cover girl Paulina Gretzky.