Drinking on the beach isn’t for everyone, so for those of you who feel the need to spend bikini-season flying headfirst down a mountain, here’s the sweet stuff. Don’t come crying to us when you break your legs, though (seriously. We failed our basic first aid test and everything.) On with the winter sports tech!
Burton Hi-Fi Helmet, $99.95
You know what’s a good idea when you’re travelling downhill very quickly, surrounded by trees, rocks and other people traveling downhill very quickly? Protecting your head. This helmet has everything you need for doing that properly – lightweight, tough-as-nails outer shell, soft, warming interior and, most importantly, optional in-helmet speakers for blasting the Inception soundtrack as you hurtle towards your destination. BWAAAAAAAAMMMMMM.
Ride DH Snowboard, $459.95
The blurb about this board on Ride’s website reads, “Complete with 85A Slimewalls and Cleave Edge…this snowboard is sure to stoke out the park/jib guy”. We have no Goddamn idea what any of that means, but what we do know is how frickin’ sweet this board looks. And that’s what matters, right?
K2 Iron Maiden Revival Skis, $685
Want to flash your metal credentials at the same time as taking out an entire junior ski school? Then you need the limited edition Iron Maiden Revival ski from K2. Built for both casual and hardcore skiers to get the best out of them, these babies are going to make every old-school heavy metal-loving skier run for the hills.
Tecnica Phoenix 100 Air Shell, $549.99
Air Shell technology makes for just about the most comfortable, well-fitted boot you could hope for. Two independent inflatable air bladders (it’s ok, we giggled at that, too) help the boot mold to your foot, keeping it warm and, most importantly, perfectly positioned for your feet to kick the slope’s ass.
Arctic Cat T570, $7,499
Fed up of skiing and boarding? Want to attack the snow in a whole new way? Not a problem. Meet the Arctic Cat T570: not only does it sound like a G.I. Joe that’s been purpose-built by Cyberdyne Systems, it also looks like what happens when a shark screws a tank. And you don’t need us to tell you, that is awesome.