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The 5 Saddest Porn Star Wish List Items

Like movie stars, porn stars have a rabid fan base foaming at the, uh, mouth at any opportunity to meet or interact with them. Unlike movie stars, porn stars don’t make movie star money (anywhere from $50,000 to $350,000), so many turn to their massive Twitter followings to ask for “gifts” from their Amazon wish lists. Fans can just add items to their cart and Amazon will do the rest, with no creepy personal interaction required! But if you’re expecting Gucci clutches and ruby encrusted dildos (ouch), guess again – the items on these wish lists can be depressingly utilitarian or just plain weird…


Photo: Ethan Miller / Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Francesca Le - $50 BJ’s Restaurant Gift Card
Nothing says, “Thanks for the country worth of schlong I’ve personally seen you take” like the means to purchase three reasonably priced shrimp teriyaki entrees.

Roxy Raye - Monopoly: Lord of the Rings Edition
Now this could just be brilliant nerd baiting - “She’s just like me! She probably also has a papier-mâché scale representation of the Mines of Moria sitting in her garage next to crates of industrial strength Accutane!” - or she might just really dig on Gandalf’s wizard staff. What’s Elvish for “Rusty Trombone”?

Dyanna Lauren - “Seven Dragons: A Guide to a Limitless Mind”
“WTF is this, some textbook on how to dominate anime conventions?” we hear you asking. Close! It’s a self-help book that, “is about eradicating mental patterns that are disruptive to our life's success.” But most importantly, the Goddamn book is 99 cents. Less than a dollar! There is nothing in this world that costs less than a dollar anymore! This is literally the only thing not sold in a jar off the side of a dirt road in the Ozarks that doesn’t cost at least a buck (thanks, Obama). If a few decades of having sex on camera can’t get you the scratch to get this book, what hope do the rest of us have?  

Capri Anderson - Sailor Moon Tiara Shot Pillowcase
Not gonna lie, this is pretty sweet.

Gianna Michaels - Breville BJE200XL Compact Juice Fountain 700-Watt Juice Extractor
Juicing is just a practical way to get needed nutrients and vitamins in a delicious and refreshing homemade drink! And do you have any idea how dehydrating squirting is?

Want more porn stuff? Check out Porn Star Tweets and Found Porn.

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