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The 3 Biggest Sucker Bets On The Strip

You don’t have to open your wallet to lose big on the Strip.



With news that disgraced NBA ref Tim Donaghy is doling out subpar gambling advice via his website, we wanted to let you know that you could do worse (we’re eternally optimistic here). If you’re hitting Sin City for March Madness or otherwise, here are some recipes for disaster. In terms of bets, you can’t get much worse odds than with these.

Going Outside
The bigger casinos on the Strip have literally everything you’ll ever need in one place (starting at $14.99), so why would you venture into the desert? Las Vegas is literally translated as “profuse butt sweat.”  The average temperature of Vegas in the summer is 167°F. As for all those people who hit Vegas to play golf? Not one of them has ever come back alive.

Hanging Out With Floyd Mayweather
Have you ever had $3 million? If so, congratulations. Would you like to put all of that on a guy named Denard and his team's ability to compete with the most dominant team in all of college football? No? Because Floyd Mayweather (maybe) did. This is just one of the insane bets that the boxer (and documented sufferer of Bieber Fever) has made (and tweeted about). If you want to hold onto your hard-earned cash (or maybe not so hard-earned; we make no assumptions about you), stay away from Mayweather. He may inspire (read: punch) you into making a bet.

Eating at the Buffet
There aren’t many sadder places to be than poking at a jiggly ambrosia salad between old ladies who were offered a free meal after their 17th consecutive hour at the penny slots. Feeling like a high roller? You should probably dip into that lobster. It’s presented on a beautiful bed of shredded iceberg lettuce, so it must be fresh! We can’t guarantee that it won’t end in a hellish night of praying to your preferred God in between spells of violent vomiting and heaving sobs, but that’s why they call it gambling, right?

April Cover Girl Danielle “Topanga” Fishel 
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