All-Pro Football 2K8

Trying to make a football game without the exclusive NFL license is like trying to build a NASA-quality rocket out of a garbage can and a fart. Or like trying to make an electron microscope out of a playing card and some expletives. Or like trying to make that awesome car from Back to the Future out of a wheelbarrow and a canned ham. When EA Sports nailed down the official NFL license a few years back, they effectively put 2K's awesome football series on life support, and then the coldhearted bastards yanked the plug. But wait! Don't bury that moldy old corpse just yet, because it's apparently still breathing, and we just saw an eyelid flutter. Take 240 or so old pros like Ronnie Lott, Joe Montana, and Jerry Rice, let them play in fake stadiums for fake teams, and then top the whole production off with everyone's favorite sociopath, O.J. Simpson. (No kidding; the Juice is in the damn game.) Not only does the whole production feel like Old Timers' Day at the stadium, it also lacks the awesome modes (re: no franchise) and slick presentation that the 2K footballers were historically known for. Do this disc a favor and quietly put a pillow over its face until it stops struggling, while whispering the words, "You were not meant for this world, my son.