Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis

It boggles the mind how anyone found a hero in a guy who talks to dolphins and needs to stay constantly hydrated. Hell, everyone knows the Justice League only keeps him on the payroll out of pity. And yet here’s Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis, an action game in which you play the merman in his quest to keep his soggy kingdom safe from the likes of (gasp!) Lava Lord of the Fire Trolls. Sure, he can launch rockets from his submarine, summon flippered pals, engage in hand-to-fin combat, and puncture foes with his prosthetic harpoon-hand. But there’s just no way to make Aquaman more exciting than beached jellyfish. It’s time to let the scaly superhero sleep with the fishes already.