Dear Jessica,
Do you think women have less sexual urges then men or are they just hiding it because of society? Is it more about having a double standard (women with many partners = slutty, man with many partners = king) or is it biological? Do women think of sex as much as men do?
JESS: I certainly think you're onto something with the question, "Are they just hiding it because of society?" Women seem stuck between a rock and a hard peni…er…place when it comes to how liberal their attitude is regarding their own sexuality. The old "Saint/Whore" complex is usually something we come across more than once during our relationship experiences. God, do I wish life more simple...
It really boils down to how much a woman is willing to deal with the hypocritical attitude of men and society. Personally, I go by the stance that I'm going to do whatever (and whomever) I want, and if you don't like it, then tough titties. If you think you're confused, just imagine how
we feel!
Hi Jessica,
My lady friend has hinted to me what she wants for X-mas: jewelry. My question is: What piece of jewelry is appropriate for a four-month relationship which won't send the wrong commitment message? — A Clueless Shopper
JESS: Wow! Only four months in and this girl is already telling you she expects jewelry for a X-mas present? I can't decide if she's ballsy or deluded!
Personally, I don't think four months deserves jewelry, but that's just me. If you're determined to buy her some baubles, I would recommend a necklace or bracelet (ABSOLUTELY NO RINGS), 14 - 24K gold with a semi-precious stone, preferably her birthstone. This gift is perfect: It's just enough to scratch her jewelry itch, keeps you from looking cheap, goes the second step of making you look awesome since you personalized it with her birthstone and is still a far cry from the 'long-term commitment' vibe.
*Note: Many months have multiple birthstones assigned to them. Keep this in mind if her birthday is in April (diamond) or July (ruby). If you get saddled with a heavy duty gemstone month, the alternative choices may be the way to go to save some cash.
Dear Jessica,
I'm a somewhat successful new professional who is looking for someone to spend time with. The problem is, I'm kind of a loner and don't really enjoy the usual mindless, getting-to-know-you banter. What I'm looking for is a woman who will just let me be alone at times and not try to butt into everything. Do you have any advice for a lone wolf?
JESS: Being a bit of a lone wolf myself—and a proud one at that—I understand your situation. The tediousness of dealing with cookie-cutter conversations are enough to drive anyone right off the deep end.
Unfortunately, you're going to have to bite the bullet a little bit on this one. The mindless hum of forced niceties actually does have a purpose; mainly, putting the woman at ease. Try to remind yourself that to her you're a stranger, and her ramblings are a way of fishing around to see if you're safe and worth her while...and not a sociopathic murderer, of course.
Once she starts to relax, I think you'll find that her conversation will start to take on a deeper, more significant tone.
As for finding a woman that doesn't constantly harass you for attention, look for ladies that have their own thing going and are a bit of success. The more confident and independent a person is, the less they'll be looking to lean on someone else for self-validation.
Dear Jessica,
I have met a woman that I may be interested in. However, I heard through the grapevine that she has been dating someone for a couple of months or so. Should I let her know my sentiments or will I end up having her avoid me? —Baffled in NC
JESS: It really is your call. If you feel like putting up with the hassle of going after someone that's taken, then do so. There certainly isn't anything I find morally wrong about it. After all, 'dating' is not 'married'.
Keep in mind though that there's a high chance it'll be a tedious, uphill battle and just because you do pursue doesn't mean you are assured a win at the end.
And, yes. She might choose to avoid you…but it also might work out. Weigh the pros and cons and try to follow your heart while using your head.
Dear Jessica,
You probably get this question all the time. If you have answered it before, I probably missed it. It's a typical fanboy thing to ask, and I'm actually quite curious to know. Someone like you obviously cannot be single, and if you are not, who might you be dating at this very moment in your life? Most of my friends and I have always been wondering who, but sometimes they are just guesses and then we could never quite put our fingers on it. —Darren
JESS: It's a secret ;)
Jessica Chobot is a lifetime gamer and zombie slaughterer. When she's not lovingly staring at her limited-edition, Japanese import Hello Kitty Dreamcast, she is a video host and writer for IGN.com and GreenPixels.com. Check out IGN Strategize, Jessica's weekly video with tips and tricks to kick ass on your favorite games.
