Welcome back to "Ask Jess, Dammit!"

Need more Jessica? Check out her IGN Blog for updates on her daily doings. Also, make sure to subscribe to the Ask Jess RSS feed. And, remember, keep sending in your questions to maximaskjessica@gmail.com!

_____________________________________________________

Q: Dear Jessica:
For years I dated a girl who I thought was the one. An opportunity to study abroad made us try the always difficult long distance relationship and three months ago we broke up to ease the tensions of being far away from each other. Well, I found out she is dating a jerk. I called her and even though she said loud and clear that I am the one for her and that she is in love with me, she doesn't want to break up with him to continue our long distance relation. Why is she doing that? Should I go back and fight for her? Is she bluffing? Any advice? —Man in distress

JESS: I suspect I'm not getting the full story here. Who left whom to study abroad? If you left her to take this opportunity (even with her blessing beforehand) she still might be harboring some resentment, feelings of abandonment and so on and so forth. Additionally, who decided to bring up the option of "relieving" the stress of long-distance via breaking up? Was it you? The man who professed his love for her and yet, left her behind? 

That is just a few questions/scenarios that could possibly explain the reluctance on her part to get rid of this other guy. He is there and you are not. Up to this point, he has been something that is secure. I have no doubt that her confessions of love for you are sincere but love isn't always enough to make a relationship work. Especially once hard-core seed of doubt have been planted. If YOU are positive that you want this woman in your life, then you need to seriously sit down and ponder over a few things:

- Are you only asking her to get back together because you're all butt-hurt that this other guy has offered her a shoulder to cry on?
- Are you ready to put forth some serious effort to maintain the relationship again, long distance or not?
- Can you handle the trust issues that may crop up between the two of you now?
- If you do give it another shot, are you going to give it 110% from the start and not let past issues (your break-up) or other individuals (this new guy of hers) get in the way?

If you can truthfully answer "yes" to all of these questions then, at this point, the only thing stopping you from flying back home and being the knight in shining armor she's always dreamed of you being, is YOU.

Unless she is bluffing, in which case you're screwed. Just consider that a small warning.

I wish you luck.

_____________________________________________________

Q: Jessica,
I went over to a coworkers house to talk. We start drinking wine and I asked her if I could do something that I have wanted to do for a long time. She tells me, "OK," so I leaned in and kissed her and told her I loved her. We kissed some more. Then we started to slow dance and things started going a bit further, but I made the decision to leave her house. I had to be back at work at 8 AM and it was 2 AM.  Now, she gives me the cold shoulder and just does not even say hi to me anymore. Before all of this happened, everyone in the office thought we were dating. Now I can't stand to see her or talk to her. Why did she play me like that? I did not play any games with her. I told her how I felt about her. Why is she playing these games with me? —Confused

JESS: I'm not so sure that she's playing games with you. It might be closer to the truth to say that she is probably embarrassed and in order to avoid any potential confrontation, she is ignoring you.

The clue(s) to your issue can be found in the statements, " I went to a coworkers house to talk," and "we start drinking wine."

First of all, it's always dangerous to mix work with pleasure! You should have known that there would be a risk involved in pursuing her. Secondly, getting drunk NEVER helps an already questionable situation. While it's no excuse, it also can't be denied that people have a tendency to let their guards down and their common sense fly right out the window when alcohol is imbibed.

Your feelings may have been sincere but there is just as strong of a chance that hers were not. In the stark and harsh sun of the 9-to-5 work day, she's looking to get out of the uncomfortable situation she's gotten herself mixed up in.

If you are determined to get answers, then by all means try having a calm talk with her. DO NOT harass her or hound her about it - it'll only make work absolutely miserable for yourselves and everyone else around you. If she rejects your attempts for a sit down, then let it go and chuck this one up to a life lesson.

_____________________________________________________

Q: Hey, here's my question...I have a slightly "strange" fetish where I get turned on by the thought, sight, and even smell of girls farting.  I have even gotten excited by watching girls poop on video or on websites.  (You'd be surprised how many there are.)  Anyway, how can I bring this up to a girl without her thinking I'm a weirdo?  Thanks in advance for any advice. —FetishFanWithaProblem

JESS: Ummmm.....wow.

I think you may have stumped me. Other than hitting up fetish blogs and boards in order to find like-minded individuals, I'm really at a loss about bringing up something like this to your standard date.

Yeah dude. I have NO idea.

_____________________________________________________

Q: There is this girl at work i really like but this douche I work with keeps trying to move in on her while we are talking. What do I do?

JESS: Maybe you should try asking her out before he does. DOH!

_____________________________________________________

Q: Hi-
I've been good friends with this one girl since middle school. I've always wanted to ask her out and decided a little while ago to give it a try. Long story short, I got rejected (she asked for a rain check and I didn't hear or see her until we got the same summer job). The problem now is I can't quite get over her. I really liked her and something in my brain does not want give this up. I know it would be best to get over it and try to get back to being just friends but I don't know how. I work with her regularly so I can't just avoid her (I wouldn't want to anyway). Any tips?

JESS: I think you should consider that asking for a rain check isn't an automatic rejection. While it certainly isn't the response you wanted, it isn't without hope! In fact, I have a close friend who has been in love with a girl he's known for years. He hinted and somewhat asked her out a while back and she gave him a rain check-y response. Just recently, he asked her again. This time she accepted! They are now official boyfriend and girlfriend (awwwwwww).

So, that prompts me to tell you: Wait a few months from when you originally asked her and then hit her up again about the potentially awesome love match betwixt the two of you. If she is still wishy-washy about it the second time, then you should just let bygones be bygones, accept her friendship and try to move on as best you can.


Jessica Chobot is a lifetime gamer and zombie slaughterer. When she's not lovingly staring at her limited-edition, Japanese import Hello Kitty Dreamcast, she is a video host and writer for IGN.com and GreenPixels.com. Check out IGN Strategize, Jessica’s weekly video with tips and tricks to kick ass on your favorite games.