The loud, annoying cacophonic shriek you heard Tuesday morning was the sound of millions of 12-year-olds finally getting their hands on Modern Warfare 2. But the highly anticipated sequel has company on store shelves, joined by Nintendo's 39873495783rd Mario game and BioWare's game o' sexy babes.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
Price: $49.99–$149.99
Why You Need It: If you happen to be the only person in the world not to have a copy yet, you're missing out, friend-o. Read our review to find out why.
Why You Don't: The thought of having to endure the verbal cesspool that is online gaming gives you pause. The single-player campaign (about five hours long) may not be long enough to hold your attention.


New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)
Price: $49.99
Why You Need It: The newfangled 3D Mario games may have put off some old school gamers just looking to sit on the couch without having to worry about obnoxious button combinations. Enter Mario's latest incarnation. Up to four players can play co-operatively (or compete for high score) in this Super Mario Bros. remake.
Why You Don't: We already got burned with Wii Fit, so at this point, we're convinced this is just another ploy from Nintendo to make us lose weight.


Dragon Age: Origins (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
Price: $49.99–$149.99
Why You Need It: When you're not slaying dragons and attempting to making whoopie with the female mages, DA:O does a good job of creating a gripping environment of deceit and violence. Your first run-through isn't going to cut it either: There are multiple start points and endings that depend on the decisions you make during the game, so multiple plays are required for 100 percent enjoyment.
Why You Don't: Trying to get your girl in on the action might be a tall task, unless you can effectively explain, for example, why a rogue's cunning skill is more important than his dexterity.

OUT NEXT WEEK
Tony Hawk Ride (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii), Left 4 Dead 2 (Xbox 360), NCAA Basketball 10 (PS3, Xbox 360), Assassin's Creed II (PS3, Xbox 360), God of War Collection (PS3), Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles (Wii)

Think you're the No. 1 Modern Warfare 2 fan? Do you have the limited edition throat communicator? Thought not.

With the next iteration of the Call of Duty series ready to make millions of gamers move into their Barcalounger on Nov. 10, the marketing machine is in full bloom. Promotional swag is being manufactured, game-related products are being given away, and magazines/websites are being skinned. (Hey, look above.)

So, what would it take for the No. 1 Call of Duty fan to gather up all of this cool stuff? We investigate...

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Combat Controller, $49.99

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Prestige Edition, $149.99

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition Console, $399.99

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Throat Communicator, $29.99

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Veteran ARTFX Statue, $79.99

PS3 Modern Warfare 2 Wireless Headset, $39.99

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Controller Faceplate, $14.99

And, everything from the Gamestop Surprize Attack Contest, including...
A briefcase containing 100,000 Russian Rubles, $3,120
Branded Ducati Motorcycle (Hypermotard 1100), $11,500
Branded Polaris Snowmobile (550 IQ Shift), $6,000
Branded Camping Tent, $60
Branded Skullcap, $9
Branded Long Sleeve Thermal Shirt, $21
Branded Hummer H2, $63,000
Branded Sticker, $1.20
Branded Gaming Chair, $90
Branded Hooded Sweatshirt, $25
Branded Sticker, $1.43
Branded Riot Shield, $85
Branded Duffle Bag, $200
A COD: MW2 Themed Game Controller, $50
Captain Soap MacTavish 12" Statuette, $80
Branded Flag, $18
Branded Dog Tag, $2.50
Branded Zodiac Boat, $2,000
An Infinity Ward Branded Teddy Bear, $11
Branded Canteen, $20
Branded Sunglasses, $120
Branded Scuba Gear Package, $500
A bar of Captain "Soap" MacTavish Branded Bar Soap, $3.50
A COD: MW2 Ghost Comic Book, $15
Branded Laser Range Finder, $200
Branded Wristband, $0.50
Branded Carabineer, $1.00
Branded Military Backpack, $150
Branded Parka, $80 each
Branded Phone, $250
A COD: MW2 Phone Case, $5 
Branded Watch, $140
Branded T-Shirt, $10
A COD: MW2 Trends International Poster, $10
Branded Field Jacket, $75
An Ultranationalist Branded Cossack Hat, $100
Limited Edition Autographed Art Print, $20
Branded Patch, $2.50
Branded Hat, $10

Grand Total: $88751.56

The joy of saving the world and then beating your friends to a bloody e-pulp: priceless.

Find other Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 branded items? Let us know!

It's been, what, a couple of months since we last had a Hero game? That's way too much downtime, according to game developers. Thankfully, we're getting something a bit more than just a glorified (and full-priced) music rhythm game in the form of DJ Hero. Also, the Tekken series returns with more panda action, Forza revs up for another lap, Ratchet & Clank are back for more bro-bot love, and Liberty City has a new main man running the town.

We are creeping ever closer to November 10, which we at Maxim HQ have labelled "Modern Warfare 2 Day." But, that doesn't mean there aren't a ton of new video games worth getting your mitts on in the meanwhile.

This week's selection is no exception: Lock and load with any of the millions—yes, millions—of weapons available in 2K Games' Borderlands. Plus, become champion of the squared circle in WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2010, break out your hooliganism for FIFA 10, and rise to the top of a Chinese crime syndicate in Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.


Borderlands (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)
Price: $49.99–$59.99
Why You Need It: It's like playing the video game version of Christmas, but instead of getting sweaters with reindeer prints on them, you'll be scouring carcasses for rocket-powered weapons and shiny trinkets. A first-person shooter with some RPG elements (i.e. levelling up), Borderlands tasks you and up to three other friends to go hunting for treasure rumored to be buried in a mysterious place called The Vault. By the way, there are at least 3,166,880 different weapons to collect. Yikes.
Why You Don't: The look and feel of the game is a straight up rip-off of Fallout 3.

FIFA 10 (Xbox 360, PS3)
Price: $59.99
Why You Need It: The beautiful game doesn't get any prettier than this. EA Sports's flagship soccer title returns with a swanky new Virtual Pro mode, allowing you to create a character and play him through four full seasons. Improved online matchmaking means even noobs can pick up and play, while small additions, like the set-piece creator mode, will keep series veterans busy strategizing.
Why You Don't: When it comes to sports games and their incremental annual updates, it's best to consider a purchase every two years. FIFA 09 owners may want to think about a rental until this time in 2010.

WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PSP, DS, PS2)
Price: $29.99–$59.99
Why You Need It: This may very well be the best wrestling game in nearly a decade. Embracing the user-generated aspect of game content, THQ has implemented a tight new mode called WWE Story Designer which allows gamers to create extensive and elaborate storylines, save them, and share them with users on the Net. Throw in a roster of 59 superstars, more gimmick matches, and even authentic blood spattering, and you've got a total package that rivals Lex Luger.
Why You Don't: Because last time you tuned into a WWE broadcast, you wondered why the hell a leprechaun was fighting alongside a dude dressed in golden drag.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (PSP)
Price: $39.99
Why You Need It: If you didn't check out Chinatown Wars when it hit the Nintendo DS earlier this year, your patience has been rewarded. The PSP version looks better and is packed with more content than its predecessor. When not making headway in the struggle within the Triad crime syndicate, gamers can enjoy music from 11 different radio stations or knock off some pesky foes in extra side missions.
Why You Don't: If you've played through this on the DS, there isn't enough here to warrant a purchase.

It's mid-October (already!), and that can only mean that the avalanche of big-budget video games has begun rumbling toward your console of choice. The unsuspecting, soon-to-be deluged victim: your social life.

The descent begins this week with the must-anticipated Naughty Dog sequel, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. Also, Jack Black kicks some serious axe in a heavy metal-inspired action adventure, Mario & Sonic hit the slopes for some Olympic competition, and RPG fans get some love with two very different titles.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (PS3)
Price: $59.99
Why You Need It: We loved the first one, and this one has pretty much everything that was great about the original (great story, over-the-top action, a sexy sidekick) and kicks it up 17.6 notches, according to the totally random mathematical formula we used to measure. You're pretty much in the director's seat of a Michael Bay-inspired film with a better script, orchestrating explosions, pulling off sneak attacks, and taking down dastardly villains in the jungles of Borneo, the ruins in Nepal and the ice-capped mountains of Tibet. And then, you can kill your online friends with the new multiplayer component.
Why You Don't: With a 10-hour campaign and infinite moments of fun online, your girlfriend might hate you for not speaking to her until you've mastered this bad boy.


Brutal Legend (PS3, Xbox 360)
Price: $59.99
Why You Need It: Jack Black. He is this game. Many games attempt to inject some lighthearted banter into their dialogue, but JB brings the funny and then some in his romp through the demon-filled land of heavy metal. The soundtrack is nothing to sniff at, either—108 tracks from every subgenre of metal. Rock on!
Why You Don't: Because you're waiting for the Jonas Bros. game, Friendship Forever. (Plastic peripheral promise rings sold separately.)

Mario & Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games (Wii, DS)
Price: $34.99–$49.99
Why You Need It: Yes, we know you only care about the Olympics because of the hot cheerleaders, but there are actually sports competitions going on, too. Nintendo and Sega's go-to mascots team up once again to preview next year's Games in Vancouver, offering up sports like alpine skiing, speed skating and figure skating (woohoo?).
Why You Don't: Because Mario has been in 14,342,396 games since his creation and Sonic has been in a few less, but mostly shitty attempts at video games. We're waiting for the game when both are involved in a freak lab experiment and form Monic, the heavily Italian-accented would-be roadkill.

Magna Carta 2 (Xbox 360)
Price: $59.99
Why You Need It: Good role-playing games on Microsoft's system are hard to come by, but MC2 does a decent-enough job to warrant a recommendation. Thrust into a civil war in the continent of Lanzheim, you must make decisions in helping bring peace back to the land. More than 30 hours of gameplay will keep you busy long enough to forget that you have work on Monday. D'oh!
Why You Don't: Camera angles and general blandless plague this title. If you're looking for something that's going to make your hair stand on end, you'll have more luck sticking your finger into a wall socket.

 

Half-Minute Hero (PSP)
Price: $29.99
Why You Need It: The thing about enjoying RPGs is that you need to clear your calendar and submerge yourself into the game until the end. Unfortunately, that cuts into bar time with your buddies. That's why Half-Minute Hero is such a damn good game: You have to beat bosses in 30 seconds or less, which means a post-Taco Bell shitting session is good for at least five or six levels.
Why You Don't: Because "Half-Minute Hero" was also your girlfriend's pet name for you back in college.

Another crumby week of 9-to-5ing is nearing its end and the shiny abyss of weekendom is upon us. With 48 hours of freedom—well, unless your football fan, then it's more like six hours—you can finally return to making headway on reaching sloth nirvana. We're here to help.

We're spotlighting games that are sure to facilitate some much needed down time with your couch. On tap is the ninja every girl wants to do and every guy wants to be, the debut of PlayStation's car series to a handheld console, and s'more aliens attacking humans in space. Oh, and some crap your girlfriend might like.

Ryu Hayabusa makes his return in this remixed PS3-exclusive title of Ninja Gaiden II (an Xbox 360-exclusive). There's not much difference from the original in terms of story: Commit blade-on-blade crimes and slice your way through 17 stages of intense action. The hook here for this game is the online co-op missions and the ability to play as three other characters in the series, Rachel, Ayane, and Momiji. (Yes, that means a lot more boob physics-induced head bobbing.) $60

With their flagship title, Gran Turismo 5, still in release date limbo, the team at Polyphony Digital have been hard at work pumping out fill-in game to appease fans. First there was the free demo for PS3 first-responders. Then, Gran Turismo 5 Prologue, essentially a demo of the full product, arrived at retail. This week, the series makes its arrival on handheld consoles for the first time. Jam-packed into this tiny package are more than 800 available vehicle models,  more than 30 unique tracks, and the ability to transfer upgrades to GT5 when it's unleashed upon the masses next year. $40
One of EA's surprise hits of 2008, Dead Space has quickly become one of the top-notch scare-you-shitless franchises in video games. Don't be fooled by this game's arrival on the kid-friendly Wii: This ain't no alien cuddle party. A prequel to the original, Dead Space Extraction puts you in the shoes of a group of space colonists attempting to escape a virus outbreak on their space station. Expect decent first-person motion controls (think Metroid Prime), the return of the limb-obliterating line gun, and a sexy new female to protect from slobbering enemies. $50

The weather may be heating up, but with another stellar week of game releases, calling over a bunch of your buddies for some friendly console competition isn't out of the cards. (Your girlfriend? She can watch.)

This week's games selection is punctuated by the caped crusader’s return to a console near you. Also, a compilation of the Metroid Prime series hits stores alongside the release of a Metroid-esque Xbox Live exclusive. And, if Inglourious Basterds gets you in the mood to kill some Nazis, a legendary first-person shooter is back in HD glory.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Platform: Xbox 360, PS3
If you’ve checked out the free demo available on each respective online service, you know that Eidos pulled no punches in making this one of the highly-stylized Batman games ever. Loosely based on the comic book of the same name, Arkham Asylum follows Batman, voiced by Kevin Conroy, as he seeks to chase down and defeat The Joker (Mark Hamill), who has taken over the crazy house. But, not before getting past the insane clown’s cast of shady associates inhabiting the cells of the asylum alongside him.

Metroid Prime Trilogy: Collector's Edition
Platform: Wii
It’s been a long time since JUSTIN BAILEY meant anything to anyone, but fans of the series have something to get excited about. This compilation features the Gamecube games Metroid Prime and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes with revamped Wii motion controls and the Wii game Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Unfortunately, finding out what’s under Samus Aran’s power suit will have to be left up to your imagination. Our guess: genitals.

Wolfenstein
Platform: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
If you’re like Inglourious Basterds’ Brad Pitt and feel like being in the “Nazi-killin’ bidness,” look no further, friends. B.J. Blazkowicz is taking up arms once again and returning to kick some Heinrich Himmler ass. While Hitler’s Third Reich has halted further expansion into the modern world courtesy of some American muscle, but the Axis are still conjuring up plans to resurrect a ghost force to help them take over the world.

Shadow Complex
Platform: Xbox 360
Don’t you hate it when you go out for a relaxing hike with your girlfriend, only for her to go missing and you to get plunged into a government conspiracy that eventually turns you into the ultimate weapon? Yeah, us too. But, Shadow Complex gets a pass because it’s so freaking awesome. This 2D side-scroller takes a page out of Metroid, Castlevania, and, yes, even some Metal Gear Solid and delivers five to ten hours of fun for the low, low price of $15.

The weather may be heating up, but with another stellar week of game releases, calling over a bunch of your buddies for some friendly console competition isn't out of the cards. (Your girlfriend? She can watch.)

This week's games selection are all exclusive downloadable games you can pick up on each respective console: A fat ass noblewoman needs her some damn cake, four mutated turtles go back in time, and girls strip down to their underwear if you play your cards right.


Fat Princess
Platform: PlayStation Network
With heavy (teehee, a pun!) emphasis on online play, Fat Princess is a fast-paced, meatballs to the wall competition to steal your opponent's noble lady. Only problem is that she weighs 700 lbs. and looks like what comes out of your butthole after eating a Fourth Meal. Feed your own fair lady some delicious cakes for more more cushion for the pushin', or else your opponents will have a helluva easy time kidnapping her.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
Platform: Xbox Live
The original SNES side-scrolling beat 'em up makes its way back on next-gen consoles with 3D-graphics and awesome new turtle powers. Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey gear up to keep the evil Shredder and Krang from stealing the Statue of Liberty, but get sucked into the evildoers' time warp. Battle through dinosaurs, tough-as-nails bosses, and the Foot Clan to reclaim America's leading lady.

Sexy Poker
Platform: WiiWare
Do not be fooled by the cartoon breasts: Major letdown enclosed. Do not buy!