The original Assassin's Creed was pretty damn good. We liked it. You liked it. We all liked it. Hence, the requisite sequel now available in stores. Assassin's Creed 2 features a new protagonist (Ezio Auditore di Firenze), a new setting (Italy circa 1476), and more drama than another OMGWTFBBQ episode of Gossip Girl. (In fact, the show's narrator, Kristen Bell, reprises her role as lab assistant Lucy Stillman.) But, even with all of the newness, we can't help but make the connection between Ezio and everyone's favorite movie superhero*, Batman. Is the Caped Crusader his long lost brother from another Renaissance mother? We investigate...

*Based on domestic box office sales. That counts, right?

5. Furious Fists of Fire-nze
Anyone who played the original Assassin's Creed knows that an unarmed Altair was like an old dog at the pound: fragile, defenseless, and moments away from a cruel and unusual death.

Thankfully, Ezio isn't as physically disabled. Utilizing an array of kicks, punches, and counters, Italy's third greatest video game hero—a certain mustachioed plumber and his brother are firmly affixed at the top—is able to easily dispatch of enemies a la The Dark Knight. Sorry, the Clint-Eastwood-with-a-sore-throat voice is sold separately.

4. Smoke Bomb Exits
Cowards may run, but use a ball of smoke and at least you're doing it with style.

Ezio and Batman both carry around pellets that, once thrown on the ground, explode into a plume of white powder, allowing for an easy escape through the enemy frontline.

It's not exactly the macho thing to do, but it's better to be a breathing hero than a dead one.

3. Don't Hate the Player...
What's the No. 1 reason to wish you were Batman? Chicks, man. Chicks! When he's not chasing The Joker, Gotham's resident playboy is chasing tail, and with all the money in the world, it's hard not to want a piece of Bruce Wayne.

While not as opulent as his modern day counterpart, Ezio is just as libidinous. Before he turns into the game's cloaked protagonist, you can find him making the ladies swoon at the local watering hole. Upon donning his garb, he is able to whistle over gaggles of females and use them to create diversions in order to traverse the land. Not as awesome as macking it to Russian ballerinas on a yacht, but serviceably cool.

2. Gliding Is for Closers
Anyone can just hop on a plane and get to where they need to go, but real men—call them Renaissance men—take a more novel approach to raining down hell from above. Batman, of course, uses his massive cape to soar through the sky and land on unsuspecting foes. (It's also great for barhopping.)

Likewise, local inventor and sympathizer Leonardo da Vinci whips up a flying device for Ezio allowing him to glide around the Venetian canals. It's a bit unwieldy and looks like it weighs a ton, but having the locals think you're a flying demon gives you a bit of street cred, we guess.  Want your mind blown even more? When seeking out inspiration for Batman's look, original Bat artist Bill Finger turned to the sketches of....Leonard da Vinci. COINCIDENCE?

1. The Art of Sneak
Even with an arsenal of gadgets, gizmos, and doohickeys, nothing can compare with quietly approaching a baddie from behind and taking them out without tipping off others.

The Dark Knight uses the cover of night and shadows to easily maneuver himself in position, while Ezio uses wagons full of haystacks and his incredible climbing ability.

Oh, did we mention he also has a few tricks up his sleeve in the form of retractable blades? Not exactly Wolverine, but still pretty badass, bub.

The loud, annoying cacophonic shriek you heard Tuesday morning was the sound of millions of 12-year-olds finally getting their hands on Modern Warfare 2. But the highly anticipated sequel has company on store shelves, joined by Nintendo's 39873495783rd Mario game and BioWare's game o' sexy babes.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
Price: $49.99–$149.99
Why You Need It: If you happen to be the only person in the world not to have a copy yet, you're missing out, friend-o. Read our review to find out why.
Why You Don't: The thought of having to endure the verbal cesspool that is online gaming gives you pause. The single-player campaign (about five hours long) may not be long enough to hold your attention.


New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)
Price: $49.99
Why You Need It: The newfangled 3D Mario games may have put off some old school gamers just looking to sit on the couch without having to worry about obnoxious button combinations. Enter Mario's latest incarnation. Up to four players can play co-operatively (or compete for high score) in this Super Mario Bros. remake.
Why You Don't: We already got burned with Wii Fit, so at this point, we're convinced this is just another ploy from Nintendo to make us lose weight.


Dragon Age: Origins (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
Price: $49.99–$149.99
Why You Need It: When you're not slaying dragons and attempting to making whoopie with the female mages, DA:O does a good job of creating a gripping environment of deceit and violence. Your first run-through isn't going to cut it either: There are multiple start points and endings that depend on the decisions you make during the game, so multiple plays are required for 100 percent enjoyment.
Why You Don't: Trying to get your girl in on the action might be a tall task, unless you can effectively explain, for example, why a rogue's cunning skill is more important than his dexterity.

OUT NEXT WEEK
Tony Hawk Ride (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii), Left 4 Dead 2 (Xbox 360), NCAA Basketball 10 (PS3, Xbox 360), Assassin's Creed II (PS3, Xbox 360), God of War Collection (PS3), Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles (Wii)

If you have yet to report for duty in Modern Warfare 2, it must be awfully lonely under the rock you're living. A few weeks back, Infinity Ward Creative Strategist Robert Bowling (a.k.a. fourzerotwo in the Call of Duty community) invited us into their development studio to talk shop (and play some of the game, of course). Below, he gives you the lowdown on some of characters in the game including the new face of evil, Russian Vladimir Makarov, who, funny enough, was also a Soviet soccer player in the '70s. (Modern Warfare 3's final boss: David Beckham.)

Think you're the No. 1 Modern Warfare 2 fan? Do you have the limited edition throat communicator? Thought not.

With the next iteration of the Call of Duty series ready to make millions of gamers move into their Barcalounger on Nov. 10, the marketing machine is in full bloom. Promotional swag is being manufactured, game-related products are being given away, and magazines/websites are being skinned. (Hey, look above.)

So, what would it take for the No. 1 Call of Duty fan to gather up all of this cool stuff? We investigate...

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Combat Controller, $49.99

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Prestige Edition, $149.99

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition Console, $399.99

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Throat Communicator, $29.99

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Veteran ARTFX Statue, $79.99

PS3 Modern Warfare 2 Wireless Headset, $39.99

Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Controller Faceplate, $14.99

And, everything from the Gamestop Surprize Attack Contest, including...
A briefcase containing 100,000 Russian Rubles, $3,120
Branded Ducati Motorcycle (Hypermotard 1100), $11,500
Branded Polaris Snowmobile (550 IQ Shift), $6,000
Branded Camping Tent, $60
Branded Skullcap, $9
Branded Long Sleeve Thermal Shirt, $21
Branded Hummer H2, $63,000
Branded Sticker, $1.20
Branded Gaming Chair, $90
Branded Hooded Sweatshirt, $25
Branded Sticker, $1.43
Branded Riot Shield, $85
Branded Duffle Bag, $200
A COD: MW2 Themed Game Controller, $50
Captain Soap MacTavish 12" Statuette, $80
Branded Flag, $18
Branded Dog Tag, $2.50
Branded Zodiac Boat, $2,000
An Infinity Ward Branded Teddy Bear, $11
Branded Canteen, $20
Branded Sunglasses, $120
Branded Scuba Gear Package, $500
A bar of Captain "Soap" MacTavish Branded Bar Soap, $3.50
A COD: MW2 Ghost Comic Book, $15
Branded Laser Range Finder, $200
Branded Wristband, $0.50
Branded Carabineer, $1.00
Branded Military Backpack, $150
Branded Parka, $80 each
Branded Phone, $250
A COD: MW2 Phone Case, $5 
Branded Watch, $140
Branded T-Shirt, $10
A COD: MW2 Trends International Poster, $10
Branded Field Jacket, $75
An Ultranationalist Branded Cossack Hat, $100
Limited Edition Autographed Art Print, $20
Branded Patch, $2.50
Branded Hat, $10

Grand Total: $88751.56

The joy of saving the world and then beating your friends to a bloody e-pulp: priceless.

Find other Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 branded items? Let us know!

It's been, what, a couple of months since we last had a Hero game? That's way too much downtime, according to game developers. Thankfully, we're getting something a bit more than just a glorified (and full-priced) music rhythm game in the form of DJ Hero. Also, the Tekken series returns with more panda action, Forza revs up for another lap, Ratchet & Clank are back for more bro-bot love, and Liberty City has a new main man running the town.

We already talked a little bit about Tekken 6's new cyborg babe Alisa Bosconovitch, but there's another hot number waiting to kick your ass: Zafina.

Based on feedback from fans, game director Katsuhiro Harada and his development team made Zafina specifically to address the need for a smooth-hitting, prey-stalking female in the series. Hailing from India, Zafina is skilled in the fighting styles of Kalarippayattu (a specific subset of Indian martial arts) and Ancient Assassination, incorporating stances imitating a tarantula, scarecrow, and praying mantis. Also, her outfit can be customized to make her resemble Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. We're sure that if Gandhi were alive, he'd give her a thumbs up too.

We're happy simply staring at her doing the splits, like in the picture above. She can break our combo any time she wants, if you know what we mean. We really hope you do.




Check out some other of our favorite sexy assassins.

Tekken 6 is available at game stores near you and while we could probably write a mini-novella on why being able to fight as a bear and a kangaroo is simply amazing, we're going to let Alisa Bosconovitch's curves explain why we love the game already.

Unfortunately, rubbing her back might send you to the hospital—this girl's got a jet pack hidden in there. Oh, and, rockets in her feet!

"The [development] team wanted to create a fighter that would be totally new to the franchise, who had a variety of attacks and a fighting system never-before-seen in the series," said In Joon Hwang, brand manager for Tekken 6.

With that kind of firepower tucked away in her girly parts, we'd have to agree that their mission was accomplished. Born from the demented mind of Doctor Boskonovitch—a dude on a mission to resurrect his deceased daughter—Alisa is a cyborg who can contort her body on a whim and is able to turn her arms, legs, and head into projectiles. Not exactly the "bring home to the parents" type.

But, she's not the first to turn up the heat as a computerized humanoid, following a long line of TV and cartoon hotties with special powers (outside of making guys drool, of course). Check out our slideshow of the hottest robots.

Brooklyn-born artist Jay-Z is the kind of guy who, even before thinking about starting the car engine, measures the tire pressure, checks all the fluids, and takes a moment to clean off all of the bird shit from the windows.

Before sitting down for a short roundtable with journalists to talk about his involvement with Activision's new game DJ Hero, Hova made sure the new turntable peripheral set up in the corner was stable enough for his liking.

"Gotta make sure it's sturdy," he said.

Just kicking the tires, we guess. He has lent his name and music to the video game, and a special Renegade Edition is also available, featuring an additional two CDs worth of greatest hits and unreleased tracks from Jay-Z and Eminem. It's all about associating himself with products which have what he calls "the feeling of truth and authenticity."

"At the end of the day, after people see the name on the box, they open it - and when you open it, you gotta touch it, you gotta play it," he said with hands tucked firmly in his pockets while lounging on an apropros golden couch.

"If it doesn't stand up, then shame on me."

Click here for more of our interview with Jay-Z