Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree

Fact: We did not do well on the SATs. Fact: Our brains are very tiny and soaked in massive amounts of cut-rate alcohol. Fact: We can barely remember what time Ninja Warrior is on G4 each week. (Hint: It's on all the time, a-hole.) Yes, Wii Degree is yet another piece of edutainment from Nintendo. In the mood to get lectured by a mortar board-wearing thumb? Let's see a show of middle fingers, people. Some of the game's exercises are odd enough to draw us in. Example: listening to the tinny speaker embedded in the Wiimote like a telephone as a faraway voice talks to us is a bona fide novelty. But all the crazy shit that Wii Degree makes us do only furthers our belief that Nintendo has a Google earth-type satellite in the sky, and Miyamoto and company sit up there and titter as they watch us spend $50 on games that make us hop around our living rooms like sugared-up crumb-snatchers. Rather than buy this game, point your ass toward the sky and lower your pants. Kiss the ham, Nintendo! Kiss it! Love it!