Brooktown High: Senior Year

Remember all those hot, sexy dates you had in high school? Neither do we. The closest we ever came to sex was coming in our short pants after the school bus hit a particularly stimulating series of bumps near the Dollar Store. Brooktown gives you the chance at a high school do-over. Create your character—male or female—then flirt with everyone you see in the hopes of getting a date. Flirting requires saying the right things at the right times. Just like actual dating, much of this is approximately 1,000 percent guesswork. When you do get a date, instead of showing you and your virtual vixen making out, the game cuts to funny film clips that let you know what's going on. Things going well? You'll see a traffic light turning green. Things going poorly? The game cuts to the Hindenburg bursting into flames. Oh, the humanity! Well, that's not true about the Hindenburg. Overall, the game just isn't sexy enough to hold our interest. Now, if you don't mind, the Dollar Store is just around the bend, and we've got a fresh pair of short pants to soil, thanks.