Bullet Witch

Take one pissed-off hottie. Put her in a plaid miniskirt. Give her a broomstick that doubles as a shotgun. Equip her with a bunch of magic spells. Put an army of demons between her and the game's end credits. Add this together, you've figured out the Colonel's Secret Recipe. Er, we meant to say "the recipe for Bullet Witch." Whoops. While the game does show some promise early on, the dodgy controls and subpar graphics ultimately doom this enterprise. The game is a mere six levels long, with the sixth and final level being really just a revisit to the game's second level. You'll finish the entire thing in three or four hours, and that includes pauses to scream, "WHY AM I FUCKING DEAD!!!!?!!!!," because Atari decided to make the magic spell animations take so goddamn long to play out that we could only sit there, helpless, as our little lady conjured her badass spell while the nearby bad guys filled her admittedly cute ass full of buckshot.