Colin McRae Rally '04

Europeans have plenty of mock-worthy obsessions—soccer, Formula One, shitty dance music. But let’s face it, NASCAR has nothing on the Euro tradition of racing high-performance rally cars in all-terrain endurance contests. Here you select from 20 whiny rides and adjust brakes, suspension, and tires to suit detailed terrain, from mud-splattered Britain to snowy Sweden to dust-choked Australia. Set the damage mode to high and tires explode, windshields shatter, and fenders crumple, all dependent on your lousy maneuvering. The car even performs like hell when, for example, your cooling system gets trashed after you’re knocked into a boulder. Fortunately, audio directions courtesy of McRae’s Scottish navigator, Derek Ringer, get you back on track. And since he’s a passenger, you can conveniently slap him if he dares to moan, “Captain, we just kahnt dooo it.”