Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Though the box cover resembles an anti–pink eye public service announcement—"Won't You Please Give to the Anti-Pink Eye Fund Today?"—inside you'll find one of the most unnerving, unsettling, Hanes-soiling survival horror games to date. The original Condemned—a launch title for the 360—was good; this one is better. Once again, you step into the Payless shoes of investigator Ethan Thomas, who is on a quest to locate his missing partner. Problem is, Thomas is depressed and looks for relief in the bottom of the bottle. We feel you, brother. In fact, his "problem" is so bad, he needs to quaff a bottle of Old Granddad just to hold his gun steady. The story actually makes sense this time around, as opposed to that narrative hodgepodge at the tail end of the first game that left us furiously scratching at our bald spots. Maxim Tip: Play the game in the dark to unlock the "You Just Peed a Little While Screaming Like a Woman" Achievement.