Dark Sector

In Dark Sector, you play the role of a Sam Fisher–esque supersoldier that gets infected with some kind of virus that over-the-counter creams and powders can't cure. But on the upside, this infection makes a glaive grow out of your hand. What's a glaive, you say? It's "a boomerang of death." Now this is our kind of infection! But wait, before you barrel wallet-first through the doors of your local game store, we need to tell you something. Here's the news: This game blows. The glaive might be useful to slice up sandwich meat and maybe to turn that old pair of jeans into I'm-tubing-down-the-river-style cutoffs, but otherwise, it's useless. Instead of playing this game, let your little brother throw pebbles at your face for 15 hours. Because that would be more fun.