Earth Defense Force 2017

Alert! Your city is infested with more horrible bugs than your crotch was after last year's Spring Break! And unlike your Spring Break bugs, these bugs can't be killed with a series of hot medicated baths. Only rocket launchers, sniper rifles, and flame throwers will send these giant fuckers packing. And when we say giant, we mean ants the size of an 18-wheeler and spiders the size of zeppelins. What's that stench? Is it just us or does it smell like a B-movie in here? EDF 2017 does give you a tremendous amount of game for a mere $40. (53 levels!) Unfortunately, some of the game's levels are as dull as watching Oxygen, especially when there's one last stray motherfucking bug on the far side of the level and you have to walk your weird-looking ass all the way across the city just to exterminate it. (Your A.I. compadres are more useless than tits on a bull.)