FIFA Street 3

We prefer our women pretty on the outside, and as hollow as a $4 drugstore Easter bunny inside. But the opposite holds true of our video games. Which is why the latest FIFA Street attempt went over—as Uncle Jack used to say—like a fart in church. Oh, you'll be completely entertained—possibly enthralled, even—by the initial five to 10 minutes of gameplay. But then the repetition sets in, and you'll wonder why the makers of the game decided to completely leave out any semblance of defense. Save $60 and spend the next five to 10 minutes pleasuring yourself at a dangerously high speed instead.