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Gaming Crossbreeds

Your Miniature Labradoodle is cool, but crossbreeding shouldn’t be limited to tiny lap dogs. Take note, game developers: shooters are yesterday’s news and hybrids are so hot right now.

God of Gears of War

Like the fight for the abbreviation of WWF (we stillcan’t believe Vince McMahon lost that match to a panda), Gears of War and God of War simultaneously lay claim to GoW and that shit is confusing. So here’s GoGoW. Never mind that Gears is an Xbox exclusive and God of War is PS3-only, it’s that kind of star-crossed partnership that would make this hybrid great. Gods and Cogs, it’s like the video-game equivalent of Mice and Men...which is to say classic, not “special”. Sorry, Lenny.

Fight Night: Fatality

Fighting hybrids are actually nothing new. We’ve seen Marvel vs Capcom, Street Fighter X Tekken, even MK vs DC Universe but we’re still waiting for the matchups we really want, namely Mike Tyson vs Sub Zero or Ali vs Kang. If you thought the scene in Rocky IV where Apollo Creed dies was compelling, wait until you see Ali rip out somebody’s spine.

Grand Theft Auto: Metropolis

Okay, we know that Superman isn’t gonna perpetrate crimes...or bother stealing cars...but can’t we agree that the time is ripe for Supes to get a killer open world game? DC needs to take a cue from Dark Knight and give Superman the outlaw hero status for once. We’d even jump at the chance to be a criminal in a city where you’d have to plot AGAINST the Man of Steel. We’ve learned to outrun and outgun swat teams and tanks, it’s about damn time we’re able to put our criminal mastermindery against a real opponent. Item #1: Kidnap Lois Lane. We’ve always wanted to do that anyway (we can try on her shoes!)

Leisure Suit Quagmire.


Where in LA is Carmen Sandiego?

We loved LA Noire’s unique gameplay, but we have to admit that the henchmen and foot soldiers lacked personality across the board, while the interrogations didn’t require nearly enough knowledge, geographic or otherwise. Hitting the mean streets of LA on a search for a brilliant - andsexy - master criminal isn’t just a good idea, it’s the next step in the evolution of the crime-solving drama. Our only requirement is that Rockapella sign on to do the theme song. Please, Rockstar, make it and take our money.