God of War: Chains of Olympus

Twenty minutes deep into this UMD, and already we've bashed in some guy's face with a treasure chest, defeated a monster that makes Return of the Jedi's Rancor look like a flower-picking candyass, and participated a lusty, X-rated threesome with a pair of bosomy topless ladies. (Tit tally at press time: Seven bare boobs and counting.) Yes, kids, it's just another day in the life of Kratos, a.k.a. the angriest motherfucker ever to appear in video games. Once you get used to working those way-up-there shoulder buttons and the stubborn control nub on the PSP, you'll miraculously forget you're even playing the game on a handheld. Which is the equivalent of forgetting that your wife looks like Tom Hanks with longer hair, or that your penis is small, or that you have negative $4 in your checking account. The new magic system kicks all kinds of ass, and the Gauntlet of Zeus is the first unlockable weapon in the series that actually proves to be useful. Bottom line: Aside from the occasional stall-out in momentum and a few overly difficult boss battles, there are far worse ways to spend the next 12 to 15 hours of your life.