Konami Classics Series: Arcade Hits

Just how "classic" is this classics collection? Sniff the box, and you'll be able to detect the pungent, farty scent of a dud or two. Remember old-school quarter-munchers like Circus Charlie, Horror Maze, and Road Fighter? Neither do we. That said, there are some legit classics in the mix here. Gradius, Track & Field, and Contra will all bring back memories of Saturday afternoons spent in local barrooms while your mom drank bottom-shelf bourbon as you begged her for quarters. If only we could go into a time machine and return to those halcyon days! Despite the fact that legit Konami classics like Frogger and Double Dribble, among others, are M.I.A., each and every one of these games is lovingly ported to your DS. One sad note: The "Chariots of Fire" theme from Track & Field has been tinkered with to avoid licensing issues. In the immortal words of Spalding Smails: "Doodie!"