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Lollipop Chainsaw

Release Date: 
Game Platform: 
PS3/Xbox 360
Star Rating: 
6 out of 10

Taking the bait just makes you a sucker.

The Pitch: Take a bubbly high schooler, make her fight zombies and then craft a story that employs the crudity and big boobs that you think your target audience craves. Add in boss battles, burn to disc, ship!

What It Really Is: Mainly, a waste of five hours and a couple Hamiltons. Lollipop Chainsaw tries to capture the lightning in a bottle like Suda51 has done before with No More Heroes. This twisted revisioning of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - now with Zombies - fails to invoke the charm and weirdness that made previous Suda games fun, instead opting for hit-you-over-the-head potty humor and gore. Lots of gore. Lollipop starts off with a ton of potential and the story even remains interesting for about 30 minutes but then Juliet Starling, our heroine, loses her appeal, the repetition of combat creeps to an irksome level and drab boss battles do little to salvage the action. In the end, Lollipop Chainsaw was a great idea that failed to execute on too many critical levels. Great looking graphics and good-for-a-game dialogue can’t redeem the fact that LC is a better example of opportunity squandered than the next great entry in Suda51’s otherwise sparkling gameography. Ready-Made Press Blurb:Lollipop is Lolli-tops!”

Fun Fact: Lollipop Chainsaw’s best feature is its soundtrack, boasting tracks from Joan Jett to Atari Teenage Riot to Skrillex. There’s actually an unlockable achievement where you can stop Juliet from talking and play along to just the awesome tunes in the game. Ok, not really, we totally made that up but we sure wish it was true.

Who’s It For: People who weren’t smart enough to read this review.