Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops

Playing Metal Gear Solid games lately has become about as pleasant as hand-washing Tony Siragusa's Fruit of the Looms while he tosses peanut shells at our heads. But Portable Ops is a step—albeit a small, sneaky step— in the right erection. Er, we meant "direction." Why? Because it has more of the fuck-them-up action that we love, and less of the nonsensical exposition that we hate. The plot, as usual, is the typical convoluted horseshit that only about 2-to-4 people will probably understand. Our advice? Skip through cut scenes as fast as humanly possible, and keep the muzzle on your AK hot enough to cook Ballpark Franks with. Single-player is wisely broken down into tasty, bite-sized missions, making the game truly portable, but it's the UMD's multiplayer, which makes use of the soon-to-be-released GPS system for the PSP, that puts this stalled series back into "gear."