Pac-Man Fever

Look, game developers, you can screw with Defender, Dig Dug, and friggin’ Galaxian all you want, but why did you have to mess with the yellow dude that lives the life we all wish we had? (The only other person who can make a living by getting fat and chasing chicks is Ron Jeremy.) Unfortunately, those days seem to be over—Pac’s newest adventure involves playing cheesy boards and minigames with his sappy friends (obviously his wife’s pals), who look like they hopped out of a Barney video. It’s bad enough that our best friends get whipped when they get hitched—did the same really have to happen to our sacred videogame idol as well?