Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

For those of you keeping score at home, yes, this is the game that's based on the movie that's based on the ride. You'll play much of the game as the mascara-wearing pirate, Jack Sparrow. The graphics are fucking awesome, especially on the 360 version, but the action is duller than doing your taxes. Hack your way through nameless, faceless hordes. Do some awkward platforming. Get into a duel with a boss character. Petards get hoisted. Hos get Yo-hoed. And the pixelated version of Keira Knightley? It can't hold a candle to the real thing. (Dear Keira: Did you get this week's love letter? We enclosed one of our ears, just for you. XXOOX.) For a movie series that basically looks like a video game in motion to begin with, it's hard not to be disappointed. Game overboard!