The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Reviewed by:
Alex Porter

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a chubby New Zealander made a blockbuster fantasy trilogy featuring a hairy-toed hobbit, an elf in hair extensions, and a wise and sorta gay wizard. Soon thereafter a video game was released in which noble fans could play as characters Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli. Lo, the game did feature scenes and interviews from the first two films and verily did allow players to gut orcs in cool 3-D environments. The graphics and sound (enhanced by the actual voices of the movie’s stars) were well-rendered and intricate indeed, but players soon grew bored with repetitive thrusting and parrying against evil Sauron’s monstrous hordes. In time, wise players did cast the magical disc back into the Realm of Blockbuster from whence it came.