Ninety-Nine Nights

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Ninety-Nine Nights may sound like a perfume your mom wants you to buy her for Christmas, but it's actually the name of a crappy hack-and-slash video game. Things get off to a promising start when Inphyy, the disc's waify protagonist, snaps on a section of boob armor that, shall we say, lifts and separates. But from there, the whole production goes right down the shitter. While the game does make good on its promise to flood the screen with hundreds of enemies, once those enemies have surrounded you, they exhibit all the intelligence of Wal-Mart greeters, standing around like they're waiting for some square-dance music to start.

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