The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

Is it just us, or does Twilight Princess sound like the name of the latest RuPaul album? Anyway, Twilight Princess tells the continuing adventures of the felt-clad Link. Wait, did we just say "continuing adventures?" Because we meant "pretty much the same game that involves the same weapons and going into dungeons filled with annoying puzzles and pesky bats that always seem to fly around us when we're nearly dead." Sure, this is the most ambitious Zelda to date—the game features a world that makes San Andreas look like a wee burg. But that ye olde Zelda magic is starting to wear on us. Yes, you'll have to get the slingshot by blowing into a magic reed, which summons a magic crow, who will knock a dancing monkey into the river, which releases a woven basket, which you can use to get the fishing pole, etc, etc, etc. You'll need a lot of patience to endure the first hour alone. Using the Wiimote as a sword/fishing pole/slingshot/and who knows what else is awesome, but unless you're willing to forego food, sex, and a normal social life, most of you probably won't make it out of the first dungeon alive.

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