God of War 2

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

Who's angrier than Ike Turner, balder than a musk melon, and surrounds himself with more zeppelin-boobed topless women than Bob Guccione? If you guessed Kratos, you're correct! Your prize: Play with your nipples for the next 10 seconds. Finished? Good. Moving right along… The follow-up to one of the best games of all time somehow manages to have even bigger balls than the original. Use your brains and brawn to fuck up all kinds of mythological mofos in your quest to shove your steel-toed boot up Zeus' pale ass. The first level alone manages to top even the original's awesome hydra battle. (We seriously thought it was un-toppable. We were wrong.) Yank the eyeball out of a Cyclops. Pop the head off a Gorgon. Make a mini-minotaur deep-throat your blades. Brutal violence, big tits, and some of the finest boss battles you'll ever see leave us wondering why the fuck we even need the PS3 when awesome games like this are still being made on the supposedly "dying" PS2.

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