Ninja Gaiden Sigma

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

In case you failed to play this game back in 2004—way back when TVs only showed black and white pictures, people with handlebar mustaches rode around on bicycles with one giant wheel and one small wheel, and folks said things like "Twenty-three ski-doo!"—Tecmo is giving you yet another chance to play their hard-assed ninja sim. Yes, you're still Ryu Hayabusa. Yes, the story is so thin and the dialogue so bad that it makes most porn movies seem like Shakespeare. Yes, the slice-and-dice game play is still fucking balls-out awesome. New this time around: You get to play a few levels as Rachel, the zepplin-boobed, hammer-wielding gal who only appeared in cut-scenes in the original game. Big whoop, Tecmo. Sigma is certainly pretty as a picture on the PS3, but we've grown tired of killing the same dopey assholes again and again (and again).

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