Halo 3

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

Fact: Halo 2 was something of a misstep for the series. Sure multiplayer was superb, but the game's single-player campaign was akin to an early sexual experience: brief, frustrating, and capped off with an ambiguous climax. Well, Halo 3 is here to right those wrongs. With new weapons to tinker with—including the Gravity Hammer, which can swipe vehicles aside and turn enemies into Wile E. Coyote–esque pancakes; new 'nades to lob; and new vehicles to commandeer—Bungie has pulled out all the stops for this third (and supposedly final) installment. By the time the credits roll, all questions will be answered, every loose-end will be tied, and the Cortana nude code—up, down, up, down, left, right, X, X, Y—will finally be revealed. (Kidding about that last one, you peepee-toucher.) As usual, the odds are stacked against the Master Chief… And that's just how he likes them. Within seconds of loading up the game, you'll encounter set pieces of an unrivaled scale and scope so huge and kinetic that they make the action from the first two Halos, in retrospect, seem about as exciting as working at Radio Shack. Go nose to nose with entire armies of Brutes (those chimp-like bastards) as vehicles careen across the virtual vista as if a hopped-up Lindsay Lohan is behind the wheel. You will jump. You will skulk. You will fight tooth and nail for every square piece of real estate in the game. And, in the end, you will enjoy yourself, thoroughly, utterly, and completely. The Master Chief is one of gaming's legendary badasses; and with Halo 3, he gets the five-star epic send-off that he deserves. Four words of advice: Call. In. Sick. Now.