Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

Good news, Call of Duty veterans: THIS GAME IS NOT SET DURING WW II. Face it, the once-glorious series had fallen on hard times in recent years, such hard times that around the office we began referring to it as Call of Doody. Clever, eh? See, that's why we make the big bucks. The most recent games were about as much fun as having Meryl Streep's used tampon strapped to your face for about 12 hours. But Modern Warfare rights all those wrongs. It's just plain balls-out fun. You'll split time between walking in the shoes of a British S.A.S. soldier and a U.S. Marine. You've got yourself 70-plus weapons, and these weapons aren't the Ye Olde Musket–type things you've been firing—or more likely, misfiring—in the previous games. There is a rocket launcher that has a built-in bottle opener, so you can pop the top on your suds without putting the launcher down. There is a grenade that has an edible pin that tastes like ribbon candy. There is a gun that shoots tiny monsters all over the battlefield that will kill all your enemies, then set up a hibachi and cook you a cheeseburger and then give you a quality hand job. OK, so these weapons are totally made up. But the weapons that are actually in the game are just as cool, trust us. The graphics will melt your fucking face off. Visually speaking, this thing tops even the spectacular BioShock for sheer beauty. Finally, multiplayer is good enough to give even the vaunted Halo a run for its money.

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