Super Mario Galaxy

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

Women in peril? Mushroom consumption? Bee costumes? While this all sounds eerily similar to our stint as a fifth-year senior at Dingleberry Community College, we're actually describing the latest offering from Nintendo HQ. That's right, kiddies—he's-a baaaack, only this time instead of traipsing through lands that look like they are made of candy and paper cutouts, he is blasting off into space, traveling from planet to planet on a quest to save his kidnapped longtime companion Peach. The controls are nifty, with plenty of gravity-defying, oh-shit-now-I'm-upside-down-type moments. The various planets are cool. Each is stuffed with enemies, power-ups (eat it, you fat bastard!), treasures, and boss characters. When we first loaded the game and heard Mario, in his trademark high-pitched (not to mention borderline racist) pseudo-Italian begin to speak, we thought, Fuck. OK, maybe we are finally too old for this bullshit. But then an hour went by. Then another hour. This game reminded us of that one unforgettable night we spent in a Wext Texas prison in 1998. After lights-out, things, well, happened to us. Things we'd really rather not talk about. We tried not to enjoy those things. But in the end, we realized that the best thing to do was just to let ourselves go. Do the same with Super Mario Galaxy, and something that could potentially be painful involving, shall we say, putting $10 worth of groceries into a $5 bag, actually turns out to be a pretty damn good time.

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