Kane & Lynch: Dead Men

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

This game tells the heartwarming story of two total assholes. One is a balls-out mercenary who's not afraid to stick his shotgun into your guts, blow you a kiss, and pull the trigger. The other is a drugged-up psychopath who has more mood swings than Naomi Campbell. Together they make a kind of asshole-ish Starsky and Hutch. The cut scenes are cinematic, and these guys fire off profane language as often as they fire bullets. Cover your ears, Grandma! They make their way through car chases, armed robberies, and just all-around badass psychopath shit. While the writing is genuinely decent, and it's always fun to hear swear words (so fun!), in the end the game's half-baked game play, including some frustrating controls, made Dead Men feel like those ill-conceived get-out-of-the-car-and-walk-around moments in the Driver series. Translation: We did more f#*&ing swearing than either Kane or Lynch did.