Universe at War: Earth Assault

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

The Skinny: It's another PC strategy game slumming on a console. Trying to port a PC real-time strategy game onto a console is like trying to fit into your wife's jeans. (And if you do fit into your wife's jeans, it's probably time to get a new wife.)

The Good: The Hierarchy team's customizable walkers are so awesome looking, we dubbed them "Underwear Destroyers," because we're pretty sure the other units ruined their Hanes when they saw them coming.

The Bad: If you've got questions about the complicated control scheme, don't bother with the game's tissue-thin manual. It's about as useful as tits on a bull.

How You Tease Us Dept.: The PC-to-360 online battles that Sega promised? Well, at press time, they weren't working.

Buy, Rent, Disembowel? Disembowel. See: Wife's jeans.