Grand Theft Auto IV

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

The Skinny: Postpone your wedding, cancel your fantasy league draft, and tell your mistress that you won't be available for any "Afternoon Delight" for quite awhile. Trust us, the words "free time" will henceforth vanish from your vocabulary once GTA IV enters your PS3/360.

The Good: After the small misstep of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, a.k.a. "The Never-Ending Story," Rockstar responds with a tighter, much more focused (and best of all, high-definition) follow-up. Yes, the latest GTA is good enough to make those subhumans who think the game is solely about running over hookers shut their conservative pie-holes, once and for all.

The Bad: Despite some truly remarkable game play improvements, including the need to now hotwire parked cars (the city is no longer one big jackable parking lot anymore), if you've played through the three previous games, you might find yourself suffering from a chronic case of GTA-jà vu.

Proof That Rockstar Received Our Hate Mail: Gunplay is no longer the wonky roll-of-the-dice endeavor it's always been. Rockstar very wisely borrowed a page from the Gears of War handbook. You can now get yourself into cover, popping out to crack off a few rounds when the time is right. In related news, analysts predict an 82 percent reduction in cursing around the Maxim Online game room in the upcoming fiscal year.

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel?Buy this game. Or else we're driving to your house while listening to a totally eclectic soundtrack, and once we arrive, we're parking cockeyed on the sidewalk, then getting out of the car and kicking your ass by pressing the X button.

See our overall review of GTA IV here!

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