Mario Kart Wii

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

The Skinny: Once every few years, usually during a full moon, Mario and his cuddly friends turn into speed-craving demons who drive their go-karts through places like Moo Moo Meadows and Coconut Mall, terrorizing the local citizens.

The Good: The game's 16 new tracks, including the vertigo-inducing "Wario's Gold Mine," despite our normally cynical nature, are totally fun. Seriously, put a Mario-hating cynic in front of this game, and force him to play this track. As Mr. Roarke used to say on Fantasy Island just before the guests arrived, "Smiles, everyone! Smiles!"

The Bad: Man, no one gets away with making the same game over and over again like Nintendo does. Well, except for EA. If this year's Madden features a new move that allows you to use the right analog stick to pick up two cups of Gatorade at the same time, we're officially going to start smearing the walls of our cell with poop again.

Speaking of Poop... The Maple Treeway track, with his brown-colored tunnels, might as well be named the Hershey Highway. Get your mind out of the toilet, Nintendo. Or…erm…maybe we're the ones with the toilet minds. Yeah, that's probably closer to the truth.

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel?Buy it. Just keep a pack of Rolaids nearby for those moments when a baby with a mushroom for a head whizzes by you at the finish line in what appears to be a jet-powered stroller.

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