Mass Effect

Reviewed by:
Scott Jones

The Skinny: This is the PC version of the overly chatty role-playing game from the folks at BioWare, a.k.a. the Same People Who Made Those Overly Chatty Knights of the Old Republic Games, complete with all the side quests and downloadable content from the 360 version.

The Good: Shorter load times, sharper graphics, and characters so lifelike they're more fun to be around than your so-called friends. And these fake people won't send you IMs at the office that say, "I LIKE PEEPEE," in a giant font, or come over to your apartment on Sundays and drink all your beers then plug up your toilet.

The Bad: Too much goddamn reading/listening/talking. Which are, if you think about it, three things we're trying to avoid by playing a video game in the first place.

Bringing Sexy Back Dept.: The human-on-alien love scene? It's on a par with your average postmidnight Cinemax offering. Wank-worthy? Er, no. But it's a step in the right erection for video game sex. And yes, we said "erection."

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel?Buy. Just make sure you keep your reading spectacles nearby, grandpa.

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