Seaman

Virtual pets are nothing new, but in Seaman, you don’t just watch your virtual pet—you can talk to him, too. If you’re not a good parent, don’t worry: superannuated sage Leonard Nimoy talks you through the game. Your Seaman hatches from an egg within a few minutes to reveal a fish with a disturbingly realistic man’s head. The game comes with a microphone that lets you talk to your creature. He feeds from your conversation and recognizes a surprising number of words—even bad ones. The more you talk, the smarter he gets, and if you don’t talk to him enough, he’ll wither and die.

This game’s an eerie novelty, but it’s impractical if you have any semblance of a life. After hours of useless conversation, wasted time, and unrewarding returns, chances are that Seaman will start to remind you of your ex-girlfriends.