Sonic the Hedgehog

Holy Christ has Sonic ever fallen on hard times. After putting the Sega Genesis on the map in the '90s, the little blue guy has done nothing except run really fast on a downward spiral of crummy sequels, each one worst than the last. How bad is this game? We'll put it to you this way: We'd rather play a game known as Monkey Dump. Never heard of Monkey Dump? It's where you let an incontinent chimpanzee take a banana shit in your 360's disc tray. Then you close the tray with the banana shit inside, grab the 360's controller, and let the fun begin. OK, so there's no such thing as a game known as Monkey Dump. But if there was, you know, in a perfect world, it would be about 900 times more fun than playing this shitty game. Seriously, Sega. Why is it so hard to make a new fucking Sonic game? For this abomination of a game, we sentence the developers to being locked inside a very tiny room with Rosie O'Donnell for 45 minutes with nothing to throw at her. Enjoy!