Spider-Man 3 The Game

How do you fuck up a good thing? You can ask John Stamos—he somehow got Rebecca Romijn to marry him, and even hyphenate his stupid last name onto hers—or you can ask Activision. Indeed, this game may say Spider-Man 3 on the box, but inside you'll find your friendly neighborhood dog turd of a video game. Webbing your way around a virtual Manhattan is still pretty fun, though it does have a slightly stale, been-there-webbed-that feel, since we did so much of it in the previous game. It's the game's nonsensical narrative, which seems to wedge in random clips from the movie whenever it fucking feels like it; tedious boss fights that can last up to an hour; and low-res cityscape that make us want to park this Peter. The Wii version is worthless; the PS2 version, oddly enough, is probably the best of all. Go play Spider-Man 2 again. Better yet, just fix yourself a broken-glass sandwich and eat that.