The Eye of Judgment

If you are reading this, MAY WARTS BEGIN TO SPROUT ON YOUR GENITAL REGION AND MAY YOUR GIRLFRIEND LEAVE YOU FOR AN EVEN BALDER, LESS WELL-ENDOWED MAN THAN YOU ARE. Seriously, man. Are you sure you want to read a review of this game? Really sure? Because Maxim really is not the place to go for reviews of über-nerdy card games. So…you're still here? Jesus. You're a tenacious little fucker. OK, so we checked this game out. We set up the PS3 camera, laid out the "play cloth" (which would make for a sweet blanket for a midget, by the way), and tried this game out. Imagine: Your card battles, when filmed via the PS3 camera on the play cloth, magically come to life on the PS3's screen. It works great—better than we even thought it would—but goddamn hell, does this shit ever make us feel lame. Now, if you don't mind, we have to go do 10 push-ups, pull out some nose hairs, and shotgun a beer.