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The Gaming Review - Aliens: Colonial Marines

Release Date: 
02/12/2013
Rated: 
ESRB: M
Game Platform: 
Xbox, PlayStation 3, PC, Wii U
Star Rating: 
5 out of 10

Game Over, Man. Game over.



The Pitch: Officially recognized as part of the Alien saga, Aliens: Colonial Marines is a FPS that takes place within the original trilogy of movies and offers players the chance to mow through legions of the iconic critters that made Alien an essential piece of sci-fi pop culture.



What It Really Is: A mess of frozen faces, predictable gunfights, and green goo. Despite its rocky and drawn-out development, we had high hopes that Colonial Marines would be an Alien game worthy of its cinematic legacy. Having Gearbox on board didn’t hurt either. Anyone familiar with Borderlands will be able to jump right into A:CM’s gameplay without much of a learning curve, and their friends can join in just as easily thanks to Gearbox’s superior co-op system. Unfortunately, trying to convince a friend to play with you might be the biggest challenge in Colonial Marines because the game falls short in every other category. The graphics, which would have been mediocre five years ago, are unacceptably bad in 2013. The highlight of the game should have been the unique experience of killing Xenomorphs, something that only an Alien game can offer, but oversimplified enemy AI makes combat a dull exercise in point-blank executions. These are the aliens! The same ones that the predators scoured the universe to hunt. If the ones in Colonial Marines are any indication, Predator would be much better off going to a bar that had a Buckhunter arcade game.



Maxim.com Ready-Made Press Blurb: “If Aliens: Colonial Marines was any closer to our heart it would lay eggs in our chest and rip through our breast plate.” –Maxim.com



Fun Fact: One of the high points of Colonial Marines is its multiplayer, allowing for battle royales where you actually get to play as the Xenomorphs. Unfortunately, these skirmishes can be one-sided since the campaign will help you level up your Marine but not your Alien. Still, face-murder is our favorite kind of murder, and gripping onto an enemy’s head to get a kill might be the most exciting prospect of the game.



Who It’s For: Games based on movies suck (not you, Goldeneye, you’re one of the good ones), mainly because they’re only created to help promote a sequel or cash in on a franchise. We thought Colonial Marines would be different, mainly because it’s decades removed from the movie plots it aims to bridge, and there was no rush to get it to market. Yet, A:CM still suffers from both signature downfalls of most movie-based games AND the fact that developers spent the last few years passing it around like bird flu on an airplane. Only the most desperate, die-hard Alien fans should bother with this one.

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