The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

Is it just us, or are the Zelda games starting to feel like a woeful, pain-in-the-ass chore to get through? There's always a bunch of crap to collect. And there are pretend people that you need to talk to. Man, we don't even like talking to people in real life, let alone pretend people in a video game. Hourglass picks up where The Wind Waker left off. The sailing portions are exactly 11 percent less boring than they were in The Wind Waker. In fact, most of this game goes down easy, thanks to the stylus-centric controls. You can use your stylus to do everything in this game. The game squeezes a whole shit-ton of content onto a tiny cartridge. Isn't technology wonderful? So you have two options at this point: You can play this game or you can write the letters "R-E-D-R-U-M" on the bathroom mirror in lipstick and refer to your wife as "Mrs. Torrance." It's up to you, my friend.