The Shield

Holy Christ is this game fucking awful. What a fucking miserable, lousy shame, too, since we're big fans of Vic Mackey and his ass-kicking ways. Seriously, we couldn't wait to step into his virtual steel-toe boots. The game's highlight: dunking a perp's head into a toilet bowl during an interrogation sequence. We laughed while doing this and thought, You know, maybe this game isn't a total piece of shit after all. But then we "played" another boring chase sequence. Followed by a boring sneaking sequence. Followed a boring shooting sequence. If you've ever wondered if it's possible to fall asleep while killing people, wonder no more, Wonder Man. It's only February, but this game wins the award for Biggest Fucking Disappointment of 2007. And 2008. In fact, it's pretty much got the award locked up indefinitely. Now, if you don't mind, we need to go tend to our broken hearts, thanks. Please just go. We don't like having strangers see us cry.