Like some girls, enjoying even the crappiest of video games can be done with enough alcohol in your system. Here is our quick and dirty guide to navigating your hard-earned beer money toward something better than a polished turd. Bottom's up!
God of War III (PS3)
Price: $59.99 | Official Site
What's It About: The gods are trembling and that can only mean the Greek godkiller is back for his long-awaited vengeance. Kratos' farewell looks to be a memorable experience as he ascends Mount Olympus for one last clash with the gods and his father, the almighty Zeus. The first GoW game made for the PS3 looks amazing, the combat has been streamlined even further for better transitions between cutscenes, and, with an even larger arsenal of slice-and-dicers at his disposal, one thing's for sure: There will be blood.
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 0
Metro 2033 (Xbox 360, PC)
Price: $49.99–$59.99 | Official Site
What's It About: As if the Russian metro weren't as harrowing a ride by itself, imagine a post-apocalyptic romp through the railways with crazy-looking aliens breathing down your neck. Based on a novel by the Russian author Dmitry Glukhovsky, Metro 2033 follows survivor Artyom after a mysterious blast wipes out civilization kissing everything above ground dasvidaniya. The game has definite Fallout 3 undertones with an immersive environment and a brave new world to explore/defend from the mysterious "Dark Ones." So racist.
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 3 Stary Melnik Krepkoes...anyone?
Resonance of Fate (PS3, Xbox 360)
Price: $59.99 | Official Site
What's It About: While the Final Fantasy series is increasingly moving away from the hardcore Japanese RPG players, other series, like last year's Demon's Souls and now with Resonance of Fate, are finding an audience pining for plain ol' old-school monster hunting. In RoF, Earth has been sucked dry of all resources and everyone lives off an air purifier machine tower called Basel which is also nearing its limit for usability. But, you won't find any summon spells and magic attacks here: The weapon selection consists of mostly normal bullet-fed tools of war and over-the-top acrobatic attacks that make Chuck Norris look like The Karate Kid. Of course, that's because Chuck Norris ripped Ralph Macchio's head off with his bare hands and replaced it with his own.
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 3
iPHONE-ING IT IN
Zombie Smash (iPhone)
Price: $1.99 | Official Site
What's It About: Like zombies? Like smashing stuff? Well, have we got the game for you! Zombie Smash lives up to its name, giving your fingers the power to turn hordes of brainless brain-seekers into bloody undead messes before they wreak havoc on your defenseless cottage. We especially like the game's soundtrack put together by German game music composer Chris Hülsbeck of R-Type fame. (Yes, the Commodore 64 game and, yes, we can be nerds too.)
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 1
Also Out This Week...
Dragon Age: Origins DLC: Awakening (PS3, Xbox 360), Command & Conquer 4: Tiberian Twilight (PC), Perfect Dark (Xbox Live), Infinite Space (DS), Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space (Wii)
God of War III (PS3)Price: $59.99 | Official Site
What's It About: The gods are trembling and that can only mean the Greek godkiller is back for his long-awaited vengeance. Kratos' farewell looks to be a memorable experience as he ascends Mount Olympus for one last clash with the gods and his father, the almighty Zeus. The first GoW game made for the PS3 looks amazing, the combat has been streamlined even further for better transitions between cutscenes, and, with an even larger arsenal of slice-and-dicers at his disposal, one thing's for sure: There will be blood.
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 0
Metro 2033 (Xbox 360, PC)Price: $49.99–$59.99 | Official Site
What's It About: As if the Russian metro weren't as harrowing a ride by itself, imagine a post-apocalyptic romp through the railways with crazy-looking aliens breathing down your neck. Based on a novel by the Russian author Dmitry Glukhovsky, Metro 2033 follows survivor Artyom after a mysterious blast wipes out civilization kissing everything above ground dasvidaniya. The game has definite Fallout 3 undertones with an immersive environment and a brave new world to explore/defend from the mysterious "Dark Ones." So racist.
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 3 Stary Melnik Krepkoes...anyone?
Resonance of Fate (PS3, Xbox 360)Price: $59.99 | Official Site
What's It About: While the Final Fantasy series is increasingly moving away from the hardcore Japanese RPG players, other series, like last year's Demon's Souls and now with Resonance of Fate, are finding an audience pining for plain ol' old-school monster hunting. In RoF, Earth has been sucked dry of all resources and everyone lives off an air purifier machine tower called Basel which is also nearing its limit for usability. But, you won't find any summon spells and magic attacks here: The weapon selection consists of mostly normal bullet-fed tools of war and over-the-top acrobatic attacks that make Chuck Norris look like The Karate Kid. Of course, that's because Chuck Norris ripped Ralph Macchio's head off with his bare hands and replaced it with his own.
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 3
iPHONE-ING IT IN
Zombie Smash (iPhone)Price: $1.99 | Official Site
What's It About: Like zombies? Like smashing stuff? Well, have we got the game for you! Zombie Smash lives up to its name, giving your fingers the power to turn hordes of brainless brain-seekers into bloody undead messes before they wreak havoc on your defenseless cottage. We especially like the game's soundtrack put together by German game music composer Chris Hülsbeck of R-Type fame. (Yes, the Commodore 64 game and, yes, we can be nerds too.)
No. of Beers Required for Enjoyment: 1
Also Out This Week...
Dragon Age: Origins DLC: Awakening (PS3, Xbox 360), Command & Conquer 4: Tiberian Twilight (PC), Perfect Dark (Xbox Live), Infinite Space (DS), Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space (Wii)