Touchmaster

You know that machine at the end of the bar that has the greasy touch-sensitive TV screen? No doubt you've filled that sumofabitch full of quarters on more than one occasion. Well, the geniuses at Midway decided to take that thing—it's called a Touchmaster—and shrink it down to fit onto your Nintendo DS. You've got your trivia, your checkers, your solitaire, your mah-jongg, and so forth. There are 20 or so games to choose from. Remember that one night you drank about a thousand beers and you took home a woman who you swear could pass for Cheryl Tiegs' kid sister, but the next morning you woke up next to someone named Rita who looked like Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan in a fright wig? While these games seem like big fun during Happy Hour, take them home, sober up, and you'll start wondering why you ever thought playing Crystal Balls was a good time. At the very least, Midway could have had a sense of humor about the whole thing and slapped a BAR NOT INCLUDED sticker on the box cover